I have been anxious to start reading "Red Letters- Living a Faith That Bleeds" for some time but haven't had the time. I just love the title. That in and of itself speaks so loudly to my heart! Anyways, I picked it up a couple nights ago and only read a couple of pages before I had to put it down. I was needed elsewhere but also I needed time to digest what I had just read. It's opened my eyes a little bit more but it's also pierced my heart too, in a good, growth way and I'm not even on chapter 2 yet!!

Just some of the things that grabbed me....

*There are almost 50 million people infected with HIV virus*

*"But there is something else going on when we reach out to help the helpless - something unexpected. Something we often miss. Something that speaks not only to the process of becoming Christlike- to our spiritual foundation - but also to the very truth of where we find Jesus".

* "I'm talking about finding Jesus in the eyes of real people…

During quiet time today I was checking my email and Gabriella was outside on the front porch playing. She had just come in to talk to me and suddenly the dog went crazy and I heard that dreaded sound. The rattle of a rattlesnake! Yep, right outside our front door, curled up ready to strike. Well, me and snakes are NOT friends. Frantic, I called Sean at work. He said just let it alone but no, not me. I call my comrade-in-arms....my mom! We hash out a plan. Now let me put a disclaimer here and say that I love God's creation. We teach our children to take care of and respect God's world. However, I will not allow a creature to put my children's lives at risk. A snake is welcome to enjoy our woods but come up to my front door and voila! You WILL meet your doom!

So, back to the story.... we felt like Thelma and Louise, snake rustlers. LOL! Amidst much screaming (that would be me!) the littles and I stood on our deck overlooking the snake and proceeded to throw ice cubes, hot wa…

This is the first time in 4 adoptions we have applied for grants to adopt. Specifically, we applied for a total of 8. In the mail today, we received word from the last grant application we were still waiting on that they were not able to help us either. I can't believe it, out of 8 grants none of them offered to help us with Nolan's adoption expenses! I can't say I'm not confused and disappointed. How could they not see the need when they look at our income versus our expenses?! Honestly, it's been a rough couple of weeks here with all the unknowns we are dealing with in Nolan's adoption. We are mentally and emotionally tired and this last no from the grant organization could potentially send us into a fetal position but we choose to set our faces towards God. We know He knows all things and this is no surprise to Him.

I do tend to question God's gameplan and point out to Him others that He seems to be pouring His provision on and wondering why not us. Is i…

Connor is quite a character, just ask anyone who knows him in real life! He says the funniest things and doesn't even realize why we are laughing. Here is just a small taste of how Connor sees life....

Look mom, a buzzquito. (mosquito)

Mom, I just saw a Frenchworm. (after my brain worked really hard I finally figured out he meant an inchworm!)

Look mom, I'm going on a hatfari. (safari)

I'm also realizing he is listening to others talking even if it doesn't seem like it. Last night Gabriella came running in to tell me that the dog skunked (pooped) in the yard. I went out and realized it was just some of those weird black mushrooms growing in the yard. Yuck! Anyways, before I had a chance to explain what it was Connor was pointing and saying look mom, crap. I thought I couldn't have possibly heard him right, he must have said crab. So I kept asking "what did you say?" and he kept repeating it. Yup, he wasn't saying crab he was saying the other! Just when we…

I can't believe I forgot to add this to the last post. Nolan's testing was done this week and it seems he has some issues with his liver. One part is swollen and there is fluid around the liver. His enzymes are elevated too. His pediatrician spoke with a pediatric specialist and at this point the next step involves more testing in about 2 weeks to see if there is any changes. We will then know how to proceed. However, we have the greatest physician of all, God, and we are believing Nolan to be completely healed in Jesus' name! Please believe with us. What another great addition to his testimony it will be!!

I am so hesitant to write this post, mainly because I don't want to discourage anyone in the midst of adoption or thinking of adoption. But, this is a side you need to know about, unfortunately.

We need prayer. It seems the agency we worked with for Nolan's adoption has "miscommunicated" some pretty serious issues to us. In fact, we are at this point, not even sure about birthmom's rights. Let me explain...

Agency was in Utah, birthmom and babe were in PA. Birthmom signed Utah consent forms to relinquish her rights but apparently these consents may not meet PA laws and so would be invalid. Our lawyer is still looking into this but if this is the case then they will have to go back to birthmom and ask her to re-sign her rights. This is the scary part because she is really having a hard time with giving him up and has been calling agency alot.

The next issue is that we were told birthfather's rights were terminated but alas, that is not the case either! We were to…

Jesus looked at them and said; "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27 Nolan Elijah, one month old today, has quite a testimony already! But before I begin let me give you a bit of background. When Sean and I felt the call to adopt again, last May, we were hesitant for alot of reasons, financial being our biggest hurdle. (We are still paying on the last 3 adoptions, one income, not a lot of leverage, etc.) We talked and prayed about it until early November when we decided to step out in obedience to God's call. We told God we would walk forward until all doors were closed. It looked impossible on alot of realms but we just kept giving it back to Him and He kept opening the doors. There are so many juicy, God-details in this adoption, that just re-confirm His guidance throughout!! Ok, so now on to Nolan's testimony. May God be glorified! When Nolan's Birthmom found out she was pregnant (3 weeks) she told Birthdad…