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Monday, August 25, 2008


Umm, nope. Not me! However, I will admit I'd love to be Supermom...hero to her children, woman with unquenchable energy, never a doubt in my mind that I'm on the right path, amazing wife always bubbly and full of life. But my resume sounds more like this...tired, frazzled mom of 6 with the energy of a sloth, always questioning and doubting, and full of alot...mainly sarcasm.

I loved Courtney's post I have had the wonderful blessing of getting to know her better and she is amazing!! Anyways, her post made me think about our life and how far we've come in a few short years as well.

Just 4 short years ago we were a family of 4. Our two sons were just about to enter their teen years and Sean and I would be in our early 40's when we were empty-nesters. We had our life mapped out...we were already involved in ministry in our church but felt our first priority was to our boys so we were waiting until they were grown and then we were going to really get involved in several ministries. We spent many date nights discussing our "plans".

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. Proverbs 14:12
But God! I can just imagine Him listening to our conversations and just chuckling! I had prayed for 5 years for Sean's heart to be softened to adopt and had figured it would never happen.
God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; He does great things beyond our understanding. Job 37:5
Then God began speaking, softening and guiding Sean's heart. Here we are, 4 adoptions later!! Who knew?! God did!
So, in 4 short years we went from 2 kids to 6! Can you say WILD RIDE?!? And not only did we gain 4 beautiful, precious children but we also gained a variety of special needs we were not prepared for. We have been overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with joy, gratitude, God's faithfulness, a new understanding of God's heart for orphans, and love. To be honest, there is a flip side as well. We have been overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy, failure, doubt, fear, anger, and feeling that we are incapable to carry this heavy load. The image I've carried of myself as a mother has been shattered. I am not the mother I want to be. I've allowed "issues" and "situations" with these special needs children to define me. I'm frustrated and so tired. Instead of reaching out I have a tendency to go inward, to hide. During a very intense week I finally had to ask for help. (Not an easy thing for me!) My dear friend, Dana, met me right where I was and blessed, encouraged and breathed God's word into my soul. Oh how I NEEDED that. God used her to renew my strength.
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:28-31
I don't share a whole lot on here about our daily struggles with our special needs children. There are several reasons but mainly it's because unless you have special needs children you wouldn't really understand and could misunderstand and even judge us based on your limited understanding of the road we journey. Another reason is that although our children have issues it doesn't define who they are or what God can do thru them! They are amazing, wonderful, beautiful, and hold our hearts, but life is not always easy or fun.
So this takes takes us back to the supermom title. I desperately want God to shine thru me but lack of sleep, 4 wild years, and my own sinfulness has taken a toll. I'm glad God uses cracked pots. LOL!
But this precious treasure-this light and power that now shine within us-is held in perishable containers, that is, in our weak bodies. So everyone can see that our glorious power is from God and is not our own. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. Through suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. 2 Corinthians 4:7-10
I'll have to pass on the supermom title but I'm so thankful I have a SUPER GOD to carry me thru. He makes no mistakes. He gave us these children because we were the perfect family for them, even when it doesn't feel like it. I will keep giving it my all, my best and know that God will bless and enrich it.
I will press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14


crispy said...

What a beautiful post. I appreciate your honesty. I love to see your heart (even if it is through trials). And your love for scripture is a blessing.

Your comment on my blog was such a blessing to me. For some reason it just touched me (via the Holy Spirit) in a way that I needed. So I sit here with tears in my eyes, grateful to be part of lives that are striving to be righteous.

Cling to the truth and gain strength from the Almighty source.


Tereasa said...

I love this post! Thank you so much for sharing your heart!

Jill said...

Beautiful post Lisa! Amen to all of what you said. We will keep seeking Him and allow our brokeness to be for His glory!

Lots of hugs and love,

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