I've been waiting a long time...years actually for my little's to miss me. I've held onto the hope that someday they would show me how much they love me. It's really hard to pour your heart and soul into these ones day after day without much return. Every year I go away to Women of Faith for the weekend and when I return it's like "oh, you were away?" I would get so envious of those mommies whose kids were on the phone crying for them or telling them how much they missed them. I so wanted to know that my kids loved me, missed me and were counting down the minutes until I came home. LOL! My older boys hated when I left whether it was for an hour or a couple of days. They would always (and still do!) write me sweet notes that they hide in my luggage for me to find after I arrive at my destination. (It always makes me bawl like a baby :)) So, this care-less attitude with the little's has hit me hard.
God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.
Lamentations 3:25-30 (The Message)
How surprised and deliriously happy I was to call home on Friday and hear Sean say how much the little's were missing me!! I'm crying as I type this! He said Kyalynn was in a "funk" and that Gabriella asked him over and over again when I was coming home. Connor kept telling Sean "mommy will be home tomorrow, right daddy?" and precious Nolan was "just not himself" as the older boys told me. Ok, can I just say I was loving this! but poor Sean. LOL! He survived but he was surely counting down the minutes until I was home and told me I can't go away overnight again until next year! LOL!
This past weekend has brought healing rain to places dry for so long. It has renewed hope that has long been dormant. It has brought soul searching and a new depth to my determination that truly "with God ALL things ARE possible". God has opened my eyes to areas in my life that need to be dug up and new seeds planted. God has proven to me again that He is good!