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Saturday, August 1, 2009

Views Change...

Years ago when we first started homeschooling our boys I thought everyone should be homeschooling. If someone would mention they had thought about it or were thinking about homeschooling I would give them every reason why they should and how great it was, etc., etc., etc. :) Although I totally believe in homeschooling, at that time in my life I did not stop to consider that maybe God wasn't leading that family to homeschool their children. I'm ashamed to admit I probably did a disservice to homeschooling by assuming it was the right fit for everyone and trying to push and persuade others to join me in this exciting adventure. Fast forward several years....The boys now older, Kyalynn just entering our family, a mommy that is beyond exhausted and stressed. Homeschooling became progressively more complicated. Many times I threatened my older boys that they were going to have to go to (gasp!) public school. LOL! We laugh about it now but then...um, not so funny. :)
Now, years later, I can honestly say that my views have changed. Sure, when life was easy, homeschool was fun, and I had much more free time on my hands, I thought homeschooling was the right fit for everyone. But, when life hit I realized homeschooling had to be a calling from God. It was right, for my family, because that's what God called us to do. I daily need to lay it all down at His feet and pick up His plans for that day. Easy to write, hard to do! When people ask me about homeschooling I now temper my words and my enthusiasm. Homeschooling is wonderful and has so many, many benefits however, it is not the easy road to take and if you don't have that foundation (God's leading) under you, when times get tough (oh, and they will) you won't be able to stand.

When we began adopting I fell into the same trap as above. I just couldn't understand why every Christian wasn't adopting. When we had negative comments about our intentions to adopt a child of another race I judged "those heathens" as not listening to God's mandate for orphans. (James 1:27) My views didn't change until....life got hard. We brought Connor home and I again realized without God's clear call for us to adopt, it would be very, very easy to crumble. Truthfully, even with that firm foundation (knowing that God brought Connor here) it is still hard not to dig myself down deep into a hole of questions and doubts. My point is that adoption is not for everyone because God doesn't call everyone to adopt. If God isn't leading you down that path and you try to go that way anyway it will be like putting a square peg in a round hole. It...just...won't...fit. All I'm saying is life on this side offers a much different view then what I was originally prepared for.

When we just had the 2 boys we had a pretty good handle on parenting (or at least we thought so). Then we adopted....and all I can say to that is ha,ha,ha,ha! The way we parented Zachary and Ryan does not work on the 3 little's. When you have 1 autistic and 2 RAD children your views change...alot...on what works and what doesn't. :) It's easy when we see a mom struggling to control her children to begin to judge her parenting skills or lack thereof. Shame on us! We have no idea what that mother or child/ren are dealing with. Yes, views change, usually because the road becomes rock-strewn and hard to traverse without a big, strong God holding our hand and leading us.

Life is all about growing. I'm glad God continues to grow my viewpoint, although sometimes I just wish it wouldn't be so dag-gone uncomfortable. LOL!

6 comments:

Dana said...

I agree 100%.

His Hands His Feet Today said...

Great post!
:) K

Tereasa said...

When people say things about our decision to homeschool such as, "I could never do that," or, "you must have so much patience," I always give the same answer. I tell them that conviction is what I have. We are convicted that home school and adoption are right for our family. Conviction is the only thing that gets us through the hard times.

Debbie B said...

Your post really makes me think. Especially the adoption side of it with my family lately. I've been wondering how could I have grown up in my family and feel the way I do when they don't. Easiest answer is because God called me and not them. Now if that could just take away the hurt I'd be good.

Home schooling is something we've always wanted for our children. But I've always worried about the high school years. Far away yes but I have no idea how I would teach my children what they needed to learn. I think I'll do some praying on this and talk with my hubby about it. Thanks for sharing.

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