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Monday, December 14, 2009

Just Because...

Last night Zachary came home with a surprise for me. It was a well thought out surprise. Those that know me well know I LOVE chocolate covered pretzels but usually only eat them at Christmas because someone gives them to me as a Christmas gift. Well, my boy came home bearing a big old bag of chocolate covered pretzels for me!! They were to help me feel better, he said. Now I know I'm doing the GF/CF diet with the little's but let me tell you, that didn't stop me for partaking of that yummy goodness! LOL! I did share too, not a lot, but still, I shared. :)

His gesture is doubly sweet (no pun intended). You see, not only did he bring me one of my favorite things but he did it because I had a REALLY rough day with Connor and he was trying to lift me out of the pits. I won't go into all the gory details but right after I posted about Connor doing so much better he had a relapse and boy, has it been fun! (read severe sarcasm here!) Sunday morning we were iced in and things came to a screeching climax around here. I ended up spending most of the morning in my room sobbing and when I could, praying. Around lunchtime, Zachary came up to check on me and really ministered to me. He sat and talked, listened, encouraged, and made me laugh. Soon after Ryan showed up and between the two of them they made this momma feel loved beyond words and so, so blessed! I'm telling ya, these boys are going to be mighty fine husbands and dads someday!

Life downstairs was still chaotic and messy but they helped booster me up to face the chaos and go back into battle. That's right, we (Sean and I) are in battle here. Fighting to break down these incredibly thick, hard walls our children have built around their hearts. Fighting to make them more than they believe they are. Fighting to free them from their pasts and launch them into their futures of hope and life and love that God has already ordained for them. Fighting to help them attach and bond to the ones who love them....their family.

It is so exhausting. The battle has been raging for years and it is so intense that it's only normal to get to a place of feeling overwhelmed and down. That's when God calls in the calvary and He and they help to refill, refuel, and remind me of why I am here and what I'm called to do. It's like that drink of clear, cool water that you are longing for as you are mowing on the hottest day of summer.  Aaaahhhh! I so needed that!

Father God, thank you for the blessings of compassionate sons and chocolate pretzels. Thank You for always taking care of me. Thank you for equipping me for this battle, for this call, for your belief in us as parents. Some days I don't understand and I don't want to have to do this but I trust that Your plans are good and that You are preparing Sean and I for even bigger battles and victories. I humbly bow before You and ask that You would clothe me with Your strength, ability, perseverance, compassion and unending love for these precious ones. We claim the victory already and give You all the glory, honor and praise. In Your name, Amen. 


crispy said...

Oh sweet friend. How I love your heart. =)

Tina said...

My heart was pricked with your story! May you always see God's Hand in your life and always see those that He sends to comfort and help along the way. What great men your little boys have become. My heart is full of love for you and yours. God has a purpose for you as parents of "the littles" and He will guide you through the pits by lifting you up through His presence in others (your sons this time). He is just an amazing God. We are so blessed to be His children.

Love you Lisa and Love your compassionate heart for the Lord.