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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Stand Firm...

This year as I again asked the Lord for a verse or a word to meditate on throughout the year He gave me one I honestly wasn't too stoked about. I'm a visionary and so words like "Go" or "Stretch out your tents" or even "Surrender" are things that get me excited and looking forward to what He has for me. I like active words, obviously. :) So I was a bit bummed that he gave me "Stand Firm" as my words for the New Year. At first I was like, well that's boring. Who just wants to stand?! C'mon God....don't you need someone to go? 'Cuz if you do, I'm your girl! LOL!

I was sharing my lament with Sean and he and I are SO opposite. :) He immediately started telling me all the good things about "standing firm".  I wasn't buying it. LOL! So I did a word study on "stand firm" and now my whole perspective has changed. The Bible is so good about doing that. :)

As I read the verses and pondered them in context to my life I began seeing how God was speaking directly to me, my situation, with those two words. It's no surprise that daily life around here gets very heavy sometimes and often I am overwhelmed with the neediness of my children and myself! Sadly, I am my own worst critic. I read of other moms actively impacting the world for Christ and I bemoan the fact that I am home making animal pancakes for my kids instead of changing the world. Sean and I discuss this so often I can recite what he is going to say to me. LOL! He encourages me that I AM changing the world, for these children. And I know I am but still.....  Now you see why I do believe my visionary tendency is a blessing and a curse. :)

Back to the words....Stand Firm. In Exodus Moses is telling the whining Israelites (I have nothing in common with them...NOT!) that if they will not be afraid and will Stand Firm they will see the deliverance of the Lord. He will fight for them. All they needed to do was be still. {Exodus 14:13-14} Then later we hear the Lord saying almost the same exact thing...stand firm and see your deliverance. Don't be afraid or discouraged. The Lord is with you. {2 Chronicles 20:17}

Fast forward to the New Testament and I am told, yet again, to stand firm. let nothing move you. Always give yourself fully to the work of the Lord because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. {1 Corinthians 15:58} Ah, God spurring me on to the finish line reminding me that my job as mommy to these children is NOT in vain because it is all for Him. He knows how much I need to hear that...regularly!!

Over and over again, stand firm is His admonition to trust Him and let Him do His work in me, my children and our family. Can I just say how hard that is for me! I mean, geez, this 'hard road' is getting quite old, thank you very much. The light at the end of the tunnel is so, so dim. Some days it's hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other. My one child wreaks so much chaos and havoc daily as he spews through life. I know it's not his fault. I know that the child under all those behaviors is sweet, kind and delightful. It's this disease...this ugly, hateful disease of RAD that causes my son to morph into a being no one wants to be around. I'm faced with the choice daily...do I give up because it's so darn hard or do I keep pouring, keep trying. I see it as sacrificial love and honestly, some days I have to tell that to myself over and over again to make it thru the day. Does saying that make it easier? No way! Does saying that cause me to focus on Christs' sacrificial love for me? Absolutely! I'm so glad He has never given up on me! He's asking the same of me...don't give up on him Lisa, never give up on him!

So, stand firm is the perfect words for me to focus on this year. I wish we were over the hard part and life was smooth sailing and I could have happy, active words instead. But, really, standing firm is active and sometimes it's the hardest possible thing to do! It doesn't seem to make sense and it hurts like a son-of-a-gun but in the end, it will be worth it. For him. For us. For the world. {Look up the people who have had RAD and didn't have someone in their corner standing firm in fighting for them...it's scary!!}


1st Corinthians nails it so well for a RAD mom. Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men (and women!) of courage; be strong. Do everything in love. {1st Corinthians 16:13} We RAD moms have to be on guard, to protect our other children, to protect that child from hurting himself. It takes a courageous and strong person in the faith to help a child walk this road. The clincher for me is that last sentence. Do everything in love. I'll be the first to admit I'm still working on this one. Of course I love this child...more than life itself! However, faced with their ugliness and hurt day after day after day it gets harder and harder (at least for me) to not pull back, erect a wall of protection and not so readily show the love you have in your heart for him.  My prayer for this year is that when we get to the other side of it I will have learned how to "do everything in love."




4 comments:

Denise said...

Oh, Lisa, I can't even tell you what a blessing this post was to me! I read it twice, and got even more out of it the second time. And if I'm smart, I'll keep on reading it because I need constant reminders about standing firm. I love my little guy so much that I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it, but it is so hard and so painful that I do want to shut down. I've found myself thinking about how much easier life would be...not without him, but without the behaviors...and I felt so guilty even having those thoughts. I'm going to post that 1st Corinthians verse by my desk, with "Do everything in Love" in bold letters! Thank you so much for sharing your heart! I'm praying for you...
Love,
Denise

Denise said...

P.S. Thank you for telling me about the liquid silicon. I wasn't familiar with it, but after reading about it, I'm going to order some for my hurting hubby!

-stephanie- said...

Oh I have some firm standing of my own to do. Thanks for an excellent post.

I have a friend who has an adopted child with RAD. I'm going to encourage her with these verses.

NeeCee said...

I think stand firm are awesome words to get for the new year. In this world of go go go and everyone wavers and stands for nothing, STANDING FIRM is pretty darn important!