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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Riding the R.A.D. Rollercoaster...

Roller Coasters 2

For anyone who doesn't know or understand R.A.D. here is a quick synopsis.  For anyone who doesn't want to read my rantings and ravings about this topic please stop now and move on to another blog. :)

Unfortunately, RAD is very real and very active in our lives. However, to be fair, our RAD does not present as a normal RAD case. (Of course not, we never do anything by the book. LOL!) Our child has another layer on top as there is mental disability as well. It's very hard for us to distinguish what is real RAD behaviors and what is honest-to-goodness-I-have-no- clue-what-I'm-doing due to mental impairment/judgement. Fun, I tell ya!

Now, I love roller coasters (or at least I did back in the day) but if you rode one all day long without a break for years on end,  I'm pretty certain you'd be sick and would not want to see or ride one EVER again! Well....that pretty much sums up most of our days around here and I am really so sick of riding this coaster! Sorry to whine but it's the truth.

Let me give you some brief snapshots into our days. These are just bits and pieces that make up a much larger, harder, consuming, overwhelming picture!

You know, I was going to but what's the point?! I don't want my blog to be negative, whiny and/or shaming my child. THAT IS NOT MY INTENTION. My intention is to share that life is hard and some days really wear me down. I know I'm not alone in parenting a hurt child (or two!) but boy it certainly feels like it! There is such a stigma in the Christian community to sharing openly and honestly our struggles not just with parenting traumatized children but in every area of life.....marriage struggles, financial worries, prodigal children, broken relationships, past pain. We fear if we share others will judge us (some will) and/or our reputation as a strong Christian will be impaired. But isn't that what Christ told us to do? Share our burdens with one another? Lift one another up in prayer? Encourage one another? Love one another? Do not judge? Can I get an amen??

Too many good Christian homes are being terrorized and destroyed by RAD children because the help just isn't there. I don't want to be one of those statistics! We are fighting hard to stay strong in the midst of this never-ending storm but goodness we are soooo weary.

I need help. I need fresh ideas, fresh strategies. I need resources to draw from. I need a VACATION! (just me, a good book and the beach!) LOL!

So, come on moms....don't leave me hanging. Share with me your best advice/help/prayers. PLEASE!!

I promise the next post will be much more encouraging. :)


Denise said...

Praying for you, my friend! I don't have any ideas. We're just starting this journey. We see the psychiatrist again next week, but we filled out the RAD questionnaire and it's pretty obvious to both of us that that's one of the things we're dealing with.

I've worried about sounding whiny when I blog about our kids' behaviors, but I've had people email me and thank me because they could relate to what I was writing about.

I know that I used to feel alone and had no clue about some of the behaviors we dealt with in the past. I read other people's blogs and they all made it look and sound so easy. I felt like we were the only ones struggling.

I think that we all have to reach out and support one another. I'll be interested in hearing other people's suggestions. Until then, know that I'm praying. I'll pray that you get that vacation, too! :)

P.S. LOVE the picture!!

Acceptance with Joy said...

Hey there,

I don't know what I'm dealing with. Really, I don't know. I mean, it could be RAD - but it probably isn't even as bad as you are dealing with. I wish I had some practical, helpful tips. Just know you are NOT alone. I have no probably saying it like it is on my blog - obviously. And no one has condemned me yet and so I do believe the people who have been there understand and people who haven't are in awe or scared :-) Or they pray for me. I hope that I don't come across as shaming my children or exposing them. I actually put the first year of blog into a book for them to read when they are older and can laugh about it with me.

Going away for a few days does help. Just 4 days even though we took the kids with made a huge difference for me.

I am praying for you. Take courage. Jesus sees and He is there to carry the burden. He loves you and the children, too.

Acceptance with Joy said...

Just checking back to see how you are doing and to let you know that I have been praying for you. Wish I lived closer so I could give you a break... (just assuming that you don't live in WA 'cause you wouldn't be finding a beach warm enough to sit around on to read a book in this state this year!)


Debbie said...

AMEN! Wish I had some advice but just wanted to say I'm praying for you and thanks for not giving up.
Heard a said story about an adoptive family giving up recently. Praise God for strong Christian families that fight for their kids no matter what. Praying you find the help you need.

Have you ever heard of Karyn Purvis? She has a book and Christian study guide called The Connected Child. I have only read bits and pieces of it but it talks about helping kids from the hard places. Not sure she talks about RAD but you might still find it encouraging.

Sean and Lisa said...

Thanks so much for the prayers!! Seriously...they mean the world to us!

Debbie, yes I LOVE Karyn Purvis and have read The Christian Study Guide and have also used it as a Bible Study with Sean. Good stuff!

Thanks again ladies, you are the BEST! :)

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

No helpful ideas.

Walking this walk alongside you.

A beach and a good book sounds WONDERFUL. :)

Laurel :)