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Friday, January 20, 2012

A visual lesson...

It's no secret that we have a child (or two) that has been quite a challenge to us through the years. There are times when I just want to imagine what life would be like without the chaos and stress these said children bring. However, I know that I know that I know that this is where they are to be and this is our ministry, hard as it is. Still, it's not all sunshine and rainbows over here, that's for sure! :)

With these "hard" children it's like you're on this crazy train ride that never ends. This most recent "train ride" started around my son's birthday and has continued on, weaving, bobbing and wreaking havoc and chaos each stop along the way. I'd like to say we are used to it, and in some ways we are, but it still brings up feelings of failure and lots of other heavy emotions along the way.

I just can't wrap my mind around the why of the behaviors. I've begged God to explain it to me countless times but it wasn't until this week that He gave me a very clear visual picture through the wrong behaviors of my son.

This precious child still does not realize the blessing he has been given. He still sees himself as an orphan. Although we have said and shown him innumerable times that we love him and that we want to give him every good thing we can, he still chooses to eat from our trashcan (literally!). I just can't understand why he would choose the filth and yuck when he has a smorgasboard of delicious foods at his fingertips. As I cried out to the Lord about this He spoke this to my many times have you partaked of the filth and yuck of this world when I am here standing offering you bountiful goodness for the taking? Why do you want to eat from the waste dump of the world when My table is overflowing with all that you need for a full belly and life? No matter how dirty, smelly or repulsive you may be to others you are always beautiful to me. Run to me and I will hold you close, clean you up and tell you once again how very, very much I love you. Then I will sit with you at my banqueting table while you fill yourself up with My very best because this is love.

Oh my. How true. I'd like to say I am that gracious with my son when I catch him but I'm not. However, I do clean him up, tell him again and again and again that he is loved beyond measure and pray hard that my words may someday reflect God's heart in all of it because after all, that is what love does.


Denise said...

This brought tears to my eyes. As hard as it is, there are so many lessons there for us. I'm so good at getting caught up in the chaos and missing the lessons. I'm thankful to be able to come here for frequent reminders.

Praying for you, and glad that we're on the crazy train together!

-stephanie- said...

What an awesome thing to hear God say. But I guess I wouldn't expect anything less from Him. :o)
You are blessed.

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

What an amazing analogy. Thanks for sharing. We, too, have a VERYk challenging child ... that we know that we know that we know is in our family for His purposes ... His will ... His reasons.

Hoping your weekend is BLESSED!

Laurel :)