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Monday, April 9, 2012


I remember when my friend Kim took the Reactive Attachment Disorder acronym and changed it up to mean Redeemed and Delivered. I truly wanted to believe that could be our reality someday but honestly, it seemed impossible for us to ever get there. I can't tell you how many, many hours we have spent begging God to work miracles in this boys' life. We've tried everything from psychiatrist to diet to behavior modification to ....everything! Some worked a little bit, some no difference was seen. Frustration  was a common enemy. A dear friend suggested to take him for prayer counseling.  I hemmed and hawed because we had prayed for him, others had prayed for him, he had prayed for himself, we have time in the Word daily, we memorized Bible Verses, our lives revolve around our faith so I didn't think prayer counseling would help but I agreed to try it. We might as well, we've tried everything else.  Before the prayer counselors would see Connor they wanted to meet with me first.  Eeek! lol! And friends, that is when I do believe Redeemed and Delivered became a reality in our lives.  

As I sat encircled by at least 20 prayer counselors listening to them speak God's word to me, words of affirmation, encouragement, hope and love I had an awakening in my soul. It was like God was speaking directly to my heart, equipping me to continue on this journey to Connor's healing. I had been ready to "throw in the towel" so many times and just didn't see any reasonable hope of restoration for him or us. This was like a "last ditch effort" before we re-homed him. Once again, God stepped in and did His thing! :) I really can't put into words what ensued because I'm not quite sure myself. All I know is that that meeting was a catalyst that propelled us forward. Connor did have his meeting with the prayer counselors but it didn't affect him the way my meeting affected me. That's because although Connor had all the diagnoses I believe I was suffering from not only PTSD but also  my own Reactive Attachment Disorder! My heart had grown hard due to all of the pain and heartache he had caused for almost 7 years.  My heart did not want to attach for fear of being hurt...again...and again....and again. 

Since that meeting God has continued to show me what my part is in this healing journey.  It's not easy but with God all things are possible. I have spent time searching the Bible for wisdom on how to do this job well and truthfully, I have questioned God on why me? too many times to count. Incidentally, He always answers that question with why not you?! LOL! 

Since Ryan left for boot camp God has used this time to whisper things into my heart about Connor I had never realized before. He is giving me new eyes to see him with. I've seen how very much he is like Ryan as far as personality, heart, charm. Also, Ryan was always telling me what a great mom I am, how much he loved me.....encouraging things. Connor has taken it upon himself to continue this practice in Ryan's place. Makes me tear up to type that. He tells me numerous times a day he loves me. He makes it a point to hug and kiss me and tell me "you're the best mom". If you remember that was what my Ryan always texted me: U R the best!  Oh my, the emotions....

So where does that leave us??  Maybe not completed healed but well on our way.  I no longer see him as R.A.D. (Reactive Attachment Disorder). Those letters now stand for Redeemed and Delivered to us. Will we still have rough days? Absolutely, he is a child with a sin nature after all. In fact, today was one of the roughest days we've had in awhile. That's why I posted this tonight, because I needed to remind myself of what God has done and continues to do and to share that hope with others walking this incredibly daunting journey! 

Seven years....7 very long, hard, heartbreaking years. I don't want to minimalize that but I do want to plant seeds of hope for those of you with children with attachment issues. 
God is who He says He is.
 God does what He says He will do.  
I just have to look at Connor to see the truth in those statements! 

 9-12"If you get rid of unfair practices, 
   quit blaming victims, 
   quit gossiping about other people's sins,
If you are generous with the hungry 
   and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness, 
   your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go. 
   I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places— 
   firm muscles, strong bones.
You'll be like a well-watered garden, 
   a gurgling spring that never runs dry.
You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew, 
   rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You'll be known as those who can fix anything, 
   restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate, 
   make the community livable again.
Isaiah 58: 9-12 The Message


Tereasa said...

Praise God, Lisa! This is what I've been trying to say! It is about us!!! In fact, I typed a post (not to be published until Wed.) right before coming over to check on you. In the post, I stated that we are the ones that need to change. I am in constant need of change. I, too, am the one with RAD. (I've already told you that, though.) So glad you are there, girl. So glad! I am completely impressed by your experience with prayer counseling. Sounds sooooo wonderful!!!! woo-hoo!

Mama in Uganda said...

I do not visit your blog often, due to time and internet access {we live in a remote region of Africa}, but this post has blessed me. I believed you emailed me once many years ago...and this is exactly what I had prayed for in you and your son!

Thank you Jesus, only YOU.


NeeCee said...

Love it! Shane and I are making strides. God has filled me with such patience with him. No matter what happens, I can maintain my calm. Now I'm praying for my husband. Gary is struggling mightily with him. He has no patience and everything is a fight. ::sigh::

Tereasa said...

You know, I hope my comment didn't sound like a "told you so." It was meant like, "You took the words right out of my mouth!" I've kind of worried about that for a few days and thought I'd better just come over and clear that up. ;) love ya.

waldenbunch said...

What a blessing! What strength you've been given to be God's hands and feet. This is truly the hardest job I've ever had but I know God has used my adopted children to change ME. Whether or no they are transformed by God is up to them. But I'm not the same person I was 12 years ago. Redeemed and Delivered. I adore that! Will hare it with my kids tomorrow. God bless you!

Debbie said...

Praising God for those whispers of healing and hope.