Skip to main content


I remember when my friend Kim took the Reactive Attachment Disorder acronym and changed it up to mean Redeemed and Delivered. I truly wanted to believe that could be our reality someday but honestly, it seemed impossible for us to ever get there. I can't tell you how many, many hours we have spent begging God to work miracles in this boys' life. We've tried everything from psychiatrist to diet to behavior modification to ....everything! Some worked a little bit, some no difference was seen. Frustration  was a common enemy. A dear friend suggested to take him for prayer counseling.  I hemmed and hawed because we had prayed for him, others had prayed for him, he had prayed for himself, we have time in the Word daily, we memorized Bible Verses, our lives revolve around our faith so I didn't think prayer counseling would help but I agreed to try it. We might as well, we've tried everything else.  Before the prayer counselors would see Connor they wanted to meet with me first.  Eeek! lol! And friends, that is when I do believe Redeemed and Delivered became a reality in our lives.  

As I sat encircled by at least 20 prayer counselors listening to them speak God's word to me, words of affirmation, encouragement, hope and love I had an awakening in my soul. It was like God was speaking directly to my heart, equipping me to continue on this journey to Connor's healing. I had been ready to "throw in the towel" so many times and just didn't see any reasonable hope of restoration for him or us. This was like a "last ditch effort" before we re-homed him. Once again, God stepped in and did His thing! :) I really can't put into words what ensued because I'm not quite sure myself. All I know is that that meeting was a catalyst that propelled us forward. Connor did have his meeting with the prayer counselors but it didn't affect him the way my meeting affected me. That's because although Connor had all the diagnoses I believe I was suffering from not only PTSD but also  my own Reactive Attachment Disorder! My heart had grown hard due to all of the pain and heartache he had caused for almost 7 years.  My heart did not want to attach for fear of being hurt...again...and again....and again. 

Since that meeting God has continued to show me what my part is in this healing journey.  It's not easy but with God all things are possible. I have spent time searching the Bible for wisdom on how to do this job well and truthfully, I have questioned God on why me? too many times to count. Incidentally, He always answers that question with why not you?! LOL! 

Since Ryan left for boot camp God has used this time to whisper things into my heart about Connor I had never realized before. He is giving me new eyes to see him with. I've seen how very much he is like Ryan as far as personality, heart, charm. Also, Ryan was always telling me what a great mom I am, how much he loved me.....encouraging things. Connor has taken it upon himself to continue this practice in Ryan's place. Makes me tear up to type that. He tells me numerous times a day he loves me. He makes it a point to hug and kiss me and tell me "you're the best mom". If you remember that was what my Ryan always texted me: U R the best!  Oh my, the emotions....

So where does that leave us??  Maybe not completed healed but well on our way.  I no longer see him as R.A.D. (Reactive Attachment Disorder). Those letters now stand for Redeemed and Delivered to us. Will we still have rough days? Absolutely, he is a child with a sin nature after all. In fact, today was one of the roughest days we've had in awhile. That's why I posted this tonight, because I needed to remind myself of what God has done and continues to do and to share that hope with others walking this incredibly daunting journey! 

Seven years....7 very long, hard, heartbreaking years. I don't want to minimalize that but I do want to plant seeds of hope for those of you with children with attachment issues. 
God is who He says He is.
 God does what He says He will do.  
I just have to look at Connor to see the truth in those statements! 

 9-12"If you get rid of unfair practices, 
   quit blaming victims, 
   quit gossiping about other people's sins,
If you are generous with the hungry 
   and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness, 
   your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go. 
   I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places— 
   firm muscles, strong bones.
You'll be like a well-watered garden, 
   a gurgling spring that never runs dry.
You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew, 
   rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You'll be known as those who can fix anything, 
   restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate, 
   make the community livable again.
Isaiah 58: 9-12 The Message


Tereasa said…
Praise God, Lisa! This is what I've been trying to say! It is about us!!! In fact, I typed a post (not to be published until Wed.) right before coming over to check on you. In the post, I stated that we are the ones that need to change. I am in constant need of change. I, too, am the one with RAD. (I've already told you that, though.) So glad you are there, girl. So glad! I am completely impressed by your experience with prayer counseling. Sounds sooooo wonderful!!!! woo-hoo!
Mama in Uganda said…
I do not visit your blog often, due to time and internet access {we live in a remote region of Africa}, but this post has blessed me. I believed you emailed me once many years ago...and this is exactly what I had prayed for in you and your son!

Thank you Jesus, only YOU.

NeeCee said…
Love it! Shane and I are making strides. God has filled me with such patience with him. No matter what happens, I can maintain my calm. Now I'm praying for my husband. Gary is struggling mightily with him. He has no patience and everything is a fight. ::sigh::
Tereasa said…
You know, I hope my comment didn't sound like a "told you so." It was meant like, "You took the words right out of my mouth!" I've kind of worried about that for a few days and thought I'd better just come over and clear that up. ;) love ya.
waldenbunch said…
What a blessing! What strength you've been given to be God's hands and feet. This is truly the hardest job I've ever had but I know God has used my adopted children to change ME. Whether or no they are transformed by God is up to them. But I'm not the same person I was 12 years ago. Redeemed and Delivered. I adore that! Will hare it with my kids tomorrow. God bless you!
Debbie said…
Praising God for those whispers of healing and hope.

Popular posts from this blog

Are You Ready?

As a pastor, I'm often called upon when life "vanishes like a mist." One of the most powerful examples I've seen of this was Stan Gerlach, a successful businessman who was well known in the community. Stan was giving a eulogy at a memorial service when he decided to share the gospel. At the end of his message, Stan told the mourners, "You never know when God is going to take your life. At that moment, there's nothing you can do about it. Are you ready?" Then Stan sat down, fell over and died. His wife and sons tried to resuscitate him, but there was nothing they could do - just as Stan had said a few minutes earlier.
I'll never forget receiving that phone call and heading over to the Gerlach house. John, a son, stepped out of the car weeping. He asked me, "Did you hear the story? Did you hear? I'm so proud of him. My dad died doing what he loved doing most. He was telling people about Jesus."  I was asked to share a word with everyone ga…

The Old Rugged Cross...

Sean and the guys are between jobs right now and so Zachary has been helping me with odd jobs here around the house. It has been a HUGE blessing to me!  Leaves I never finished raking are finally removed, a campfire pit has been built, a shed sorted and organized (Hallelujah!) and best of all, my Old Rugged Cross is erected! Isn't it terrific?! I've been wanting to build one since watching the Fireproof movie. Zack situated it so I can see it when I look out the window over my kitchen sink. :) He outdid himself on it. He really roughed up the wood and even burnt it to give it that ruggedness I love. There are nail marks in it too. As Zachary carried the cross to set it up Kyalynn kept saying, "look, it's Jesus the Christ, yes it is". LOL! The kids love visiting the cross and this morning Connor was excited to tell me that he was praying at the cross and talking with Jesus. So glad. The Old Rugged Cross HymnOn a hill far away stood an old rugged cross, The emblem of …

Now she's....

11! Can hardly believe our precious, tiny, happy girl is 11 years old!  She's the first one home and I have no doubt that her contagious joy  helped propel us on to adopt 4 more times. :) 

She is a lover of all things but especially birthdays! If she hears it's someones' birthday she gets so excited and plans to be at their party even if she wasn't invited. LOL! She's been diligently reminding us sometimes that her birthday was coming up. There were only two things she wanted.....a Veggie Tales Lord of the Beans dvd and a harp. Yes, you read that right....a harp! Oh my, this girl is a big dreamer but that's better than not dreaming at all! :) So Sean and I set our brains to thinking how we could pull this off for our girl and my man came through!! Check out this beautiful harp he threw together. 

And it's the perfect size for her and even plays music! Sweet! Kyalynn was thrilled and is so cute playing her harp. She als…