After Connor came home we honestly thought we were done adding to our family but I saw a picture of this amazing little Asian beauty on a waiting child photolisting one day. Her information stated she had a serious disease but there were some discrepancies with the photolisting info and the agency info. So....Sean and I talked about her and prayed about her. We decided if the info came back negative to the disease we would pursue her adoption. Well, a couple days later we found out she didn't have the disease so we got on the adoption rollercoaster again. Long story very short.....after months and months of waiting, praying, hoping, and dreaming this little girl was not to be ours. My heart was crushed. I was angry, so angry at God. Actually, I was angry at pretty much everyone. Life came to a screeching halt for me but it continued on for everyone else. How could that possibly be? Doesn't anyone realize the injustice of this all?! I was numb.
He didn't let me in my pit. He slowly eased me up and out. During this time he gave me a verse....
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but longing fulfilled is a tree of life". Proverbs 13:12
I couldn't understand then what He was telling me. At that point, we were done adopting. We were moving on, or so we thought! God had other plans. If we fast forward a bit we will see another asian beauty staring from another photolisting. She too has a serious medical condition. But for some reason we are drawn in and begin asking questions about her and her situation. We spent countless hours talking to our social worker, specialist, each other and God. As we were driving on our way to the beach for vacation we spent so much time deciding on a name and picturing her in our family. Then our social worker called us during our vacation to relay some new info on her condition and we freaked! We were in way over our heads....we couldn't "do" this disease.....so on our way home from vacation we decided we weren't going to continue the adoption.
He spoke, we listened. "I can do all things thru Christ which strengthens me."
I am so glad we did! Every day I think to myself if we would have left our fears control us we would have missed out on this precious gift from God! I can't imagine one day without her in our family! She adds so much joy! She is the longing fulfilled God was talking about.
The ironic thing is that during our wait for Gabriella to come home we learned our other daughter was autistic and that our adopted son had serious developmental issues as well. So we were really, really in over our heads....
He is so faithful! Each day He gives us strength and the eyes to see what most people don't....what an amazing gift these children are! We are better people because they are in our lives.
Now, our family is complete.
He spoke, we listened and now we are awaiting the next child He has handpicked for us. Thank you Lord!!
Christianity + obedience = adventure
(Woo hoo, what a ride!)